Have I Hit a Writer’s Block?
I have not written anything for the last 10 days! Though it is not a very long duration, I honestly tell you it is killing me..., but why? I mean why should it upset me so much in the first place? Is it just because I have been in a writing mode for the last few months, and fortunately enough I have been on Medium with a few of my pieces published on it? That definitely provides a sense of achievement and satisfaction, but come on! Sometimes, I interrogate myself, “Have I ever been a writer in a true sense?” The answer has always been equivocal, maybe yes, maybe no..., don't know! It is probably because of the on-and off-ish nature of my writing.
I can proudly state that I started writing at the age of 24 with more than 70-80 poems under my belt at the time within a short span of one to two years; however, as the mundane priorities of life took precedence, the warrior within woke up to have a face-off with life, and the writer inside became a complete no-show.
However, two-and-a-half years ago when I was detected with cancer, suddenly all the dynamics of life fell apart; the very roots of existence were shaken, and the future possibilities looked totally bleak and barren. The days and nights were equally dark and scary; I used to just stare at the ceiling with blank painful eyes while lying in the bed. I had deliberately broken almost all the connections from the outside world with an aghast heart laden with poisonous anger, not sure against whom -- self, God, fate, destiny, Karma... don't know! But, the eternal question remained, as always, eternally unanswered, “Why me? I did nothing wrong!”
That was the time when the long-slumbering writer rose up once again after almost 30 years, maybe because of two reasons -- one, sensing an opportunity in this forced leisure that my physical inability imposed on me; two, finding a very well-ploughed, rightly moistened, and sufficiently manured ground to seed, feed, and grow on. My daughter created a blog for me, I started writing poetry and stuff in both the languages, Hindi and English; poured out my heart and soul with variegated emotions in my writings. Also, incidentally I landed on Medium and found it to be the most appropriate platform to not only publish my work, but also come across some of the most fantastic poets and writers actively writing on almost every subject under the sun. It was all so inspiring!
Then, this literary void surfaced a bit unexpectedly. Have I hit a writer’s block? Am I really in the dearth of emotions to create a piece of art? Should I really question my very propensity for creativity or is it just a phase and shall pass? Or, is it the quantum of creativity and uniqueness of the writers on Medium -- who write so beautifully on such a broad variety of subjects -- that have startled me and I find myself at a loss to create something to come at par with them?
I feel that anything or everything above-said may be true or false. Even sometimes lethargy and inertia of not doing anything also play a role. But, one thing that I can tell you for sure is that while struggling to properly identify my current and exact state of mind here, my glass of emotions and creativity has started brimming over once again, and I feel full of innovative ideas and a whole bunch of emotions to quickly pen down.
What did I do? I just started registering my true state of mind, which I think provided a sudden fillip to the stagnated mechanics of my mind and removed every kind of blockage from the system, and here I am, again ready to start with my creative skills. So, if anytime you are stuck like me, let me share with you a few things that I realized; probably, they may help you too:
Even if you are doing one of the finest things on this earth, you need a well-deserved break! You should serve it with honor to yourself. So, even if it is a writer’s block, it’s okay, accept and enjoy it. Take a tour to an unknown place, sit in the lap of Mother Nature, watch a movie; if nothing, go ahead and celebrate your inactivity or non-creativity, have a party!
Lethargy, inertia, negativity, etc. are gathered information by our mind, they are not “we”. The moment we stop identifying with them, they vanish, as it happened here with me. I just started writing whatever came to my mind, and here I am filled with energy and ideas.
Every individual on this earth is a unique entity with a beautiful heart, mind and soul, and with a different purpose; so, comparisons are foolish! At best, you can learn from them and enlighten yourself.
I started writing to vent my emotions and explore my creativity, never to earn money; so, there are no compulsions to write every day and on every subject. Let the tempests and tumults of your heart guide you on the path of creativity instead of compulsions. Just be your usual self.
And, last but not the least, people may not (rather will not) treat every piece of your work as a masterpiece. Don’t worry, let them not do so. For you, every piece of yours is a masterpiece! Keep creating diligently from the core of your heart.
Happy writing!
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